The Year that (almost) was

With 2007 quickly coming to a close, I’ve been thinking about the last year and what’s ahead for 2008. I’m facing a bit of a late-twenties life crisis. Work is generally good – I perform well, I’m respected, the work is decent and I’m well positioned for a promotion in the spring. I don’t leap out of bed everyday, but I’m better off than most I’d say. I’m pondering where I go after almost 5 years in the same job. I also have a desire to make more money. Do I want to do this for the rest of my life? Do I try for a lateral move in the industry for more money? I don’t have graduate school in me at the moment and I’d rather not give up a paycheck to do it.

The other life dimension I’ve been thinking about is relationships, of course. I had my second “real” relationship this year. Although, the first one in the summer of 2006 lasted only a month, I still count it. The summer fling is still something I’m trying to get over. I’ve been doing much better since I decided friendship wasn’t going to work, either. But, I’m left feeling lonely and wanting for companionship. Who doesn’t want someone they care about and have affection for to cuddle with during the cold winter months?

For the last month I turned to Manhunt. Not in the sketchy way the site is used by most. I tried that twice and found it left me lonely and empty. Instead, I tried to use it to meet new people, or even interaction with new people as a way to connect. I don’t know why I always forget that Manhunt is worthless on that front. Over the last month, I met a grand total of one person – he was nice, but the smoking, conversation about his recreational drug use and general disheveled persona makes me doubtful he’d make a great friend (or more). Interesting guy to know, though. There were a number (athmil, dcboi21, dcmascguy, FuckYouNotMe, juventus7, loganjock29, onlyonenight, rottura, sangenjo99, smoothfundc, surfonland, and surfdrew) who I chatted or e-mailed with, but when it came down to it weren’t interested. Others were less interested in meeting new people for friendship or dating than they were in meeting Mr. Right Now. About the only thing that came out of the last month was figuring out that I’m now friends with someone I used to chat with last year, but didn’t recognize from online until recently. I chatted with another guy who is in the same circle of friends who I hadn’t met yet. And, lastly one guy I chatted with who seemed decent ended up finding me through the Are YOU Interested app on Facebook. We plan to grab a drink sometime. All in all, a lot of time for very little outcome.

So, how do I improve upon the relationship state for 2008?

• Forget Manhunt – it’s a waste of time
• Do a better job of meeting people through friends
• Focus on things that I enjoy, like the volunteering I started to do for WWC and the gay sports club I joined
• Put myself out there as my roommate would say
• Remember that hooking-up is what it is – unlikely to lead to anything substantive
• Try to turn some of the many going out guru acquaintances I have fun with into real friends

Other resolutions for 2008

• Get back into investing
• Figure out how to make more money
• Take action to ensure a promotion at work, and if I’m not satisfied, find a new job
• Spend less money on frivilous eating out like coffee, pastries and lunch at work
• Drink less Diet Coke
• Continue to regularly work out
• Read more (I already started this with my new DC library card)
• Focus on enjoying life through experiences, like the vacations I’d like to take
• Drink less -I feel like I drink to excess sometimes, but it doesn’t make the night any more fun and I should learn to have more fun without alcohol

Lastly, two incidents this week reminded me that I can be a real dick sometimes. First, a friend came over to pick-up my roommate for the evening. She was really flustered because she was running late and her cell wasn’t working, so she had no way to call and tell her she was here to get her. She was wearing something that a catty gay might make a snide remark about, which I often do when I’m with her, but directed at other people. But, that day, I made the remark to her. It was something Karen on Will & Grace would say, “Honey, what’s this?” [pointing up and down]. The second experience was having my roommate’s sister in town for the week. To be honest, I’m not a huge fan – she’s a a bit of a Debbie Downer, constantly complaining and whining. Therefore, I need to take her in small doses. To top it off, she’s the younger sister, so I default to the hard-time I often give my own younger sister. Well, I must be really bad at hiding my feelings because my roommate told me her sister would be staying with a friend for most of the week because she didn’t feel welcome in our apartment. Yikes! In 2008, I need to remember to treat people with care, respect and appreciation by applying a “filter” to my bluntness and thinking about how I might perceive something if said it to me.